This quarter life crisis had been hit me so hard.
What i have to do in a year from now?
What it's your love life gonna be?
What is your real ambition?
I don't know yet.
I'm kind of lost.
Sekarang aku berada di fase kehilangan motivasi dan arah tujuan. Aku nggak tau mauku apa, tujuanku apa dan ambisi ke depanku itu apa.
Yes, i'm miss old me.
Dulu, Aku punya banyak ambisi yang ingin kukejar. Punya berbagai planning bahkan dalam hal sekecil itu, apapun yg terjadi harus selalu ada plan B dan well prepared.
I'm still searching..The reason behind all of this thing. I don't know yet. But i realised one thing.
Kalau aku semakin menutup diri dengan keadaan sekitar.
I don't want to be loved by anyone, aku tidak mempersilakan seseorang masuk di dalam fase krisis ini. Just me that's enough.
Malam ini aku juga tersadar suatu hal, aku terlalu terlena dengan rasa egois yg lama berkecamuk di dalam hati. Sadar, diri ini semakin jauh dengan orang yg disayang dan yang sedang mencoba menyangi.
Already distract that "bad" mind with an aphorism.
Aku tidak bisa merasakan 'kasih sayang' dari orang lain kalau aku tidak menyayangi diriku sendiri. Membenci diri sendiri bukan hal yg tepat lagi sepertinya aku lakukan.
I've already lost some people that wanted to be in love with me last year. Yes, i can't let them in. Not now or maybe some years from now. It's not kinda easy thing i'll made for.
I've been used to receive some nickname as "Jutek,sombong, kaku dsb." I do really sorry. I don't wanna hurt anyone when i'm still hurt with myself. I want to be alone, must be find my self first then i'll catch the others later. But, something i've might realised. When I'm searching the real me, i don't want to losing anyone in my life. again. I'll try my best to keep you all, I've promise i'll not crying anymore (That's very bad).
You'll see the new me, the strong Alfi, the happiest alfi. I'll bring that brightest smile come back.
And for my mom.
I'do love you for everything in this world. Thank you for all of love that you give to me. I'm so grateful having a mom and had been birth from a strong woman.
And also for anyone who already read this post until finish. Would you mind to do a favor for me? Text me your real thought about me.
I'll muse about it.
Sent warm hug and my deepest thanks
-Al
What i have to do in a year from now?
What it's your love life gonna be?
What is your real ambition?
I don't know yet.
I'm kind of lost.
Sekarang aku berada di fase kehilangan motivasi dan arah tujuan. Aku nggak tau mauku apa, tujuanku apa dan ambisi ke depanku itu apa.
Yes, i'm miss old me.
Dulu, Aku punya banyak ambisi yang ingin kukejar. Punya berbagai planning bahkan dalam hal sekecil itu, apapun yg terjadi harus selalu ada plan B dan well prepared.
I'm still searching..The reason behind all of this thing. I don't know yet. But i realised one thing.
Kalau aku semakin menutup diri dengan keadaan sekitar.
I don't want to be loved by anyone, aku tidak mempersilakan seseorang masuk di dalam fase krisis ini. Just me that's enough.
Malam ini aku juga tersadar suatu hal, aku terlalu terlena dengan rasa egois yg lama berkecamuk di dalam hati. Sadar, diri ini semakin jauh dengan orang yg disayang dan yang sedang mencoba menyangi.
Already distract that "bad" mind with an aphorism.
Aku tidak bisa merasakan 'kasih sayang' dari orang lain kalau aku tidak menyayangi diriku sendiri. Membenci diri sendiri bukan hal yg tepat lagi sepertinya aku lakukan.
I've already lost some people that wanted to be in love with me last year. Yes, i can't let them in. Not now or maybe some years from now. It's not kinda easy thing i'll made for.
I've been used to receive some nickname as "Jutek,sombong, kaku dsb." I do really sorry. I don't wanna hurt anyone when i'm still hurt with myself. I want to be alone, must be find my self first then i'll catch the others later. But, something i've might realised. When I'm searching the real me, i don't want to losing anyone in my life. again. I'll try my best to keep you all, I've promise i'll not crying anymore (That's very bad).
You'll see the new me, the strong Alfi, the happiest alfi. I'll bring that brightest smile come back.
And for my mom.
I'do love you for everything in this world. Thank you for all of love that you give to me. I'm so grateful having a mom and had been birth from a strong woman.
And also for anyone who already read this post until finish. Would you mind to do a favor for me? Text me your real thought about me.
I'll muse about it.
Sent warm hug and my deepest thanks
-Al
